The 10 Most Frequent Missteps Stalking Victims Make

Dealing with a stalker is a frightening and emotionally draining experience. While you take all the precautions to avoid the stalker, there are ten frequent mistakes stalking victims make, sometimes out of desperation or out of fear or even unconsciously or unintentionally that stalkers appreciate.

The following are ten frequent mistakes stalking victims make:

1. Not paying attention to the little voice in your head. Your intuition is an internal warning system that works with your unconscious mind to warn you of possible danger. When something does not “feel right”, act on it.

1. Saying “no” the gentle way. Many times we do not want to hurt other people’s feelings and look for a gentle way to let someone down. Especially in cases where you are not interested in the attention of a person or a relationship, the kind and polite way can cause an obsessive person to hear all except the real message. Avoid this by saying clearly no in no uncertain terms without any explanation.

1. Disregarding early warning signs of exasperating attention. More often than not annoying attention is the start of harassment or stalking. Nib it in the bud by taking serious early steps before it can become dangerous.

1. React or reply on actions or messages of a stalker is one of the biggest mistakes one can make. Never contact, react, or reply to any form of contact or messages a stalker may leave or give in to or adhere to any demands or threats the stalker may make.

1. Bargaining or reasoning with a stalker is futile and only increase your safety risk. Some people that made this mistake during their encounter with a stalker compare it to being a victim of elongated rape. The golden rule remains not to make any form of contact.

1. Expecting law enforcement to resolve and deal with your stalking problem is an irresponsible way of thinking. You as the stalking victim need to take full responsibility of the situation and the actions you need to take to resolve the matter. The police and other law enforcement structures should be seen as support structures in the matter and not as the sole resolution to the problem.

1. Neglecting safety, security, and privacy measures is a very common problem amongst stalking victims. You need to do all possible things to enhance, and reinforce security, safety, and privacy measures. If it means you have to take drastic measures such as changing your address, telephone numbers, and locks, then that is what you have to do. Stalkers have no lack in perseverance and will go to great extends to achieve their goal.

1. Feeling ashamed and keeping it a secret is exactly what the stalker want. Not letting other people know about your situation means that you are not able to enjoy moral and emotional support from your friends, family, neighbors, fellow workers. In addition, this makes it even easier for the stalker because the fewer people know the less people there will be on the lookout for him. So make sure you share this problem with as many trusted people you are able to. This will form your fist line of defense against the stalker.

1. Rushing into getting a protective or restraining order. A restraining or protective order should be seen as one of the last resorts. This may not sound very logical at first, but considering that you do not really know the exact intentions of the stalker many times, obtaining a court order can aggravate the situation and cause for the stalker to become violent or even cause them to cause you serious harm.

Not acknowledging or suppressing your psychological and emotional needs during the stalking process or thereafter makes you a victim much longer than what is needed. Getting some professional help to help you deal with the emotional distress caused during and after the stalking will empower you to deal with the complete process much better and more efficiently.